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Bizarre Blatter announces interplanetary mission

Sepp Blatter light-heartedly joked that the World Cup could one day be played on another planet and called Fifa “pioneers of hope” yesterday as he opened the final day of Fifa’s congress in Sao Paulo.

The Fifa president, who announced his desire to stand for a fifth term on Tuesday, is already looking at the next lucrative way to exploit fans instead of focusing on matters closer to home.

“We should wonder if one day our game will be played on other planets. Why not?” he said. 

“And then instead of a World Cup we would have an inter-planetary competition.”

The congress takes place against a backdrop of growing concern with current state of international football.

The Brazil World Cup kicks off tonight amid protests and demonstrations.

In 2022 host country Qatar thousands of workers have had their rights ignored, meaning Blatter’s jokes may not go down too well with the public.

It seems as though Blatter and the rest of Fifa are trying hard to divert people’s attention away from the bigger issues, such as problems Palestine continue to face and the corruption that seems to follow football’s world governing body at every turn.

The 78-year-old avoided the  corruption issue entirely, even having the cheek to spin  Fifa as a provider of hope.

He added: “Fifa is shaping society. My vision for Fifa in this changing world is that we must become one of today’s pioneers of hope.

“We must carry that flame of honesty, responsibility and always of respect. 

“If not, we will betray the spirit of this game we love.

“Football is about freedom, equality and respect. People have the right to want a better world for their children to grow up in.

“Football should be a force for positive change in the world and not an obstructor to it. And so should Fifa.

“The World Cup, our flagship, is growing and becoming more successful. So is football in general and it won’t stop.”

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