ELIZABETH WINDSOR and the rest of the royals seem to have got their regal knickers in a twist about Harry and Meghan wanting to have a simpler life. 

They have never really been able to deal with a woman who as well as not being white actually earned her own living.

If they are keen to have a summit with Charlie-boy giving them all advice and orders, I can think of at least one subject more important than poor old Meghan and her husband.

Anyone who watched Prince Andrew’s now disastrous TV interview could hardly believe how stupid the Duke of York was in trying to defend his relationship with well-known paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.

King-in-waiting Charles, we are told, has spoken severely to his younger brother, telling Andrew how stupid he had been having a public relationship with a long-term paedophile.

Can this be the same older brother Charles who spent so much time being entertained by Britain’s best-known home-grown paedophile, Jimmy Savile? 

Charles and Savile were great friends. Savile was a frequent visitor to Charles’s homes at Highgrove and St James’s Palace. 

Charles consulted his close friend Savile on other matters. He would ask him to read over speeches he was due to give on all sorts of topics. Savile once described himself as a court jester. He even gave Charles and Diana marriage-guidance counselling. 

On one occasion at Highgrove local health officials were gobsmacked to arrive for a meeting with Charles about the proposed closure of a local hospital to find Savile at the table. After the prince left, Savile told them that making him and Charles unhappy could cost them a knighthood. 

The prince always sent a Christmas card to Savile. On one he wrote: “Jimmy, with affectionate greetings from Charles. Give my love to your ladies in Scotland.”  

The ladies were young women dressed in salacious waitress outfits who served the two men when they dined at Savile’s Highland house in Glencoe. 

Perhaps most amazingly, Charles even included paedophile Savile in a list of potential godparents after his second son Harry was born in 1984. 

Savile wasn’t the only active paedophile that Charles counted among his closest friends. Peter Ball, the disgraced bishop of Gloucester, became very close to Charles.

Charles was a long-time admirer of Bishop Ball. When the prince’s marriage to Diana was unravelling, Ball was asked for advice. Later, the bishop encouraged his relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles. 

Ball was a guest of honour at the wedding when Charles finally married Camilla.

The support Charles gave to bishop Ball defending himself against allegations of sexual abuse is now putting the judgement of our future king in serious question. 

Charles actually sent letters of support to him while he was under investigation for paedophilia.

Archbishop of Canterbury George Carey and other senior Church of England figures also colluded with Ball to prevent him facing criminal charges. They offered no solace to his young victims.

As well as gaining influence within the church, Bishop Ball had a powerful Establishment network, including regularly dining with Margaret Thatcher at posh London hotel the Savoy, often dressed in his monk’s habit.

It is clear that Ball used his powerful royal and Establishment friends in a cover-up that allowed him to evade justice for so long. 

His first arrest and police caution were in 1992, but he was allowed to continue his abuse for another 23 years before he came to real justice.

In 1993, the bishop was forced to resign after being let off with a caution over allegations that he indecently assaulted a 17-year-old novice monk. 

Charles immediately offered the disgraced paedophile bishop sanctuary and a place to live in a Duchy of Cornwall house. 

Finally in 2015 the bishop came to trial and the jury heard how he chose young priests to share his bed, forced them to take cold showers while he watched, and got one man to roll naked in the snow before towelling him dry and beating him until he bled.

Ball forced one of his trainees, 16-year-old Neil Todd, to recite penitential psalms naked in the middle of the night. 

Ball made Todd take cold showers and expressed a desire to whip him. Another six young victims came forward with similar stories.

As part of Ball’s 2015 trial, the court heard that, backed by Cabinet ministers, the royal family, MPs, JPs and a lord, he escaped with a caution over the 1992 allegations. 

At this second trial the court heard from 18 victims but it is believed there were more than 100.

A 2008 church review of Ball’s case found seven letters of complaint received by Lambeth Palace in 1992, with revelations of nakedness, masturbation and assault,  had been ignored. 

It emerged that Archbishop of Canterbury Carey had lobbied police and prosecutors on Ball’s behalf, while treating the disgraced paedophile bishop to a holiday and a £12,500 pay-off.

Neil Todd said the bishop told him that Prince Charles had written him personal letters and added: “One day they will be very valuable.” Todd tried to kill himself three times, finally succeeding in 2012 aged just 38.  

Over many years, Charles’s support for the bishop was unwavering. They would pray together in the Sanctuary, a Harry Potter-like temple  Charles had built in Highgrove’s grounds. 

Ball was originally introduced to the royals by two people. One was Willie Booth, a former chaplain at Westminster School, the other Jimmy Savile. Ball got to know Savile really well. 

After his appointment to Gloucester, Ball became a regular visitor to Highgrove. Charles and Diana were fascinated by the bishop who dressed in monk’s habit of brown tunic and cowl. 

Ball’s royal friendships were not confined to the Prince of Wales. He was on close terms with the Queen Mother and Princess Margaret. Even the Queen supported him after his police caution. 

What of Charles’s father Prince Philip? Did he have any hidden secrets? Apart of course from how he ever got, and kept, a driving licence. 

He is still annoyed that he is married to the only woman in England who can legally drive with no licence.

The Duke of Edinburgh has mixed in the world of sex with very young women. Back in the 1950s the private rooms above Wheelers oyster restaurant in Soho were home to something called The Thursday Club.

The Duke of Edinburgh and his cronies would eat and drink in this all-male club. All-male that is until the young, and sometimes very young, girls would arrive. 

On an average night of the Thursday Club there would be around a dozen men present. Among them might be Prince Philip, his uncle Lord Louis Mountbatten, Philip’s private secretary Mike Parker and actors David Niven and Peter Ustinov. 

Another regular was society osteopath and pimp Stephen Ward, who, in 1963, became the central figure in the Profumo scandal. 

Royal photographer Cecil Beaton might bring a camera, and Larry Adler play his mouth organ. Sometimes one or other of the gangster Kray brothers might drop in.

I can’t finish an article like this without a reference to Lord Louis Mountbatten, mentor to so many royal princes: Philip, Charles, Andrew, Harry and William and so many more.

As Frosty has access to secret FBI files (please don’t ask me how), I’ll leave the last word to the Feds. FBI files sum up Mountbatten thus: “Lord Mountbatten and his wife are considered persons of extremely low morals. Lord Louis Mountbatten was known to be a homosexual with a perversion for young boys.”

Oh dear, it seems poor old Randy Andy isn’t very unusual after all. If only he had kept his mouth shut.