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Attila the Stockbroker Diary: December 2, 2022

Attila ‘interrogates’ St George about his provenance, confesses to hardly watching any of the World Cup pawned to big money, and looks forward to cheering Whitehawk FC this weekend and then hitting the road from the 15th

SO, St. George, where do you come from?
 
I’m English, mate. And proud of it. Patron saint.

Yes, I’ve seen the front page of the Sun and the blokes dressed up. But where do you REALLY come from? Where are your PEOPLE from?

English, mate. Proud of it.
 
But I’ve heard that you were originally a Roman officer of Greek descent who was martyred in one of the pre-Constantinian persecutions of Christians.
 
What? Who told you that? Did you read it in Wikipedia or something? I’m English, me. Patron saint. Proud of it. Pie & mash. Chicken tikka masala. Carlsberg. Michael Buble. Doesn’t matter where I come from. I’m English NOW. Right?
 
Yes, I know you’re English now, of course you are. So can you explain that to the people who use your flag as some kind of anti-immigrant, anti-foreigner dishcloth?

Too right mate. I shall ...!

When I read the account from that Buckingham Palace garden party, it took me back to a very sad time over a decade ago.

One of my saddest memories of my lovely Mum’s long battle with Alzheimer’s was of her conducting a similar (INCREDIBLY well-intentioned) interrogation of an NHS worker of colour while in the depths of that awful fog: she had long thrown off the prejudices of her Ragged Trousered Philanthropist parents, but the disease momentarily unearthed them. The forbearance and understanding of the recipient was inspirational. Pay the nurses: support their strike.

Mild disappointment that three Brighton players in the same team didn’t reach the knockout stages of what used to be the greatest sporting event in the world, 25 years after we were homeless, ground sharing at Gillingham and 91st in the Football League.

Mild pleasure that our brilliant winger Kaoru Mitoma helped Japan qualify and that England are through. I’ve watched about 40 minutes of this World Cup in total and feel as flat as a pancake that’s been run over by a very large steamroller. Thanks for nothing, Fifa. You stole this World Cup from us and gave it to money.

But I am really, really looking forward to proper football this weekend as Whitehawk FC, Brighton’s little answer to rebel Hamburg punk legends FC St Pauli, take on Ramsgate in a top of the table clash in Isthmian South.

I’ll be joining the Whitehawk Ultras (a 200-strong beer and punk rock-influenced left-wing rabble choir in a 300 or so crowd) and have a new song for them:

“Potter is a rotter — stuff the Chelsea vultures
Qatar doesn’t matter when we’re singing with the Ultras
I’ll always be a Seagull but grass roots is the best
And if you come to Whitehawk you’ll get your apples pressed!”

Yes, not just apple pressing but at the last Whitehawk home game you could get your blood pressure checked too. I’m glad that wasn’t available at the Brighton-Chelsea game recently though. The whole of our North Stand would have registered very misleading readings.

I’m also looking forward to three cracking local gigs to end the year. On December 11 I’ll be celebrating the brilliant history of punk’s greatest achievement, Rock Against Racism — in which I was heavily involved — alongside the Specials’ Neville Staple and his band, reggae artist Macka B and punk legends The Members at Chalk in Brighton.

On the 15th I’ll be appearing alongside my radical comedian mate Mark Thomas at a fundraiser for the East Brighton estate foodbank at the aforementioned Whitehawk FC.  And on the 22nd. I’m doing an NHS strikers’ benefit organised by Unite at Brighton’s Latest Bar. Home is where the heart is. Cheers everyone.

Info: https://www.facebook.com/attilathestockbroker
Merch: https://attilathestockbroker.bandcamp.com/merch
Listen on Spotify at https://open.spotify.com/artist/6MpFXOAwEfGuJFB4xa9Dl5?si=mE25nvLlSReEQeknfksQ0Q
Also Instagram @attilathestockbroker and Twitter @atilatstokbroka

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