Anyone old enough will surely remember the “Tell Sid” British Gas share advertising campaign in 1986 which started off the whole Thatcherite privatisation nightmare.

Well, Sid’s 27 years older now and he’s just bought shares in Royal Mail too. But the chickens have come home to roost with a vengeance...

This is my first-ever reggae talkover poem, performed over a track from the brilliant Rebel Control sound system.

I did it as part of my set in the “cultural corner” at 21st-Century Marxism last weekend.

Tell Sid

Tell Sid he’d better buy his mum a jumper
Tell Sid he’d better buy her one or two
Cos she’s getting very old and it’s getting very cold
And she doesn’t know just what she’s gonna do
Tell Sid he’d better buy his mum a jumper
Tell Sid he’d better buy her one today
‘Cos her gas bill’s come and her feet are going numb
And she doesn’t know just how she’s gonna pay

Tell Sid he’d better buy his mum a jumper
Tell Sid he’d better buy her three or four
‘Cos all she wants to do is cry, all she wants to do is die
When she hears the bailiffs banging on the door
Tell Sid he’d better buy his mum a jumper
Tell Sid he’d better hang his head in shame
A mother and a wife who worked hard all her life
Now she’s cold and alone and Sid’s to blame

Chorus
For regeneration
Of this greed ravaged nation
We need renationalisation
Without compensation
For regeneration
Of this greed ravaged nation
We need renationalisation
Without compensation

Tell Sid he’d better buy his mum a jumper
Tell Sid he’d better buy her five or six
‘Cos he should have used his brain, not been conned yet again
By the Tories and their advertising tricks
Tell Sid he’d better buy his mum a jumper
‘Cos it’s she who pays the price for what he did
When he joined the greedy mass who bought shares in British Gas
Sold our heritage to make themselves a quid

Tell Sid he’d better buy his mum a jumper
Tell Sid he’d better buy her seven or eight
He’s a scared little mouse in his cosy little house
As he sees the anger turning into hate
Tell Sid he’d better buy his mum a jumper
Tell Sid he should have thought of that before
‘Cos when the poor find their voice there will be a stark choice
Civil society — or civil war
Chorus

And if the bankers’ press wail
Occupy the Daily Mail
And shut down the Sun —
Let justice be done

Tell Sid he’d better buy his mum a jumper
Tell Sid he’d better buy her nine or ten
But he did what he was told when Royal Mail was sold
And he went and bought a load of shares again
Tell Sid he’d better buy his mum a jumper
But he never will do and he never did
“‘Cos he’s Too Busy, Dear”
and he visits once a year.
So when she dies alone and cold —
Tell Sid.

The musical version of Tell Sid is available at www.reverbnation.com/attilathestockbroker