IF there’s anything more satisfying than seeing socialism passionately debated on daytime TV for two hours straight, it’s watching a career politician pretend to be more left-wing than Jeremy Corbyn.
But Owen “round-table” Smith is clearly out of his depth — and his “Corbynism without Corbyn” platform doesn’t fool anyone.
His only selling point is that he’s the puppet of the Parliamentary Labour Party (PLP), the same people who picked the Tories’ moment of maximum vulnerability to kick off this crisis with an unconstitutional no confidence vote against Corbyn.
The BBC’s hand-picked audience at last week’s hustings erupted into “derisive laughter,” to quote host Victoria Derbyshire, when Smith claimed on Wednesday: “I don’t think there is a chasm between the PLP and the membership.”
Most members blame “moderate” MPs for letting the Labour right wing — which essentially controls the party machine and bureaucracy — undermine the leadership.
And by shutting down all local democracy and desperately trying to suppress the left vote, Labour’s executive has effectively declared war on its members while hobbling their ability to fight back.
When Derbyshire asked the “undecideds” at the end of her hustings whether their views had changed, the overwhelming majority marched en masse to Corbyn’s camp — providing the most iconic image of the campaign so far.
BBC News political correspondent Chris Mason was blown away by the “rock star” scale of support Jez enjoys.
“I’ve been covering political events for years and years and years — and it’s fair to say not many politicians can provoke this kind of response and reaction,” he blurted out in his post-debate web broadcast, before stressing for balance: “Obviously the challenge is to take it to a far broader audience.”
Even a credible contender for the Labour crown would struggle against that kind of commitment — and “the great abstainer” lost all credibility long ago.
His promise of a second EU referendum still hangs around his neck, offering Ukip the only hook it needs to steal Labour voters — just like the SNP did after the Scottish referendum.
It took a 19-year-old member of the audience to point out: “There’s lots of overenthusiastic Europhiles who don’t understand the working class of this country.”
Anyone who thinks Smith would make Labour more electable is kidding themselves — just look at the lifelong Tory voters who admit to being won over by Corbyn’s powerful policies and principles.
And members are revolted at the Labour right’s way of getting back into power —  by getting into bed with the Murdochs. They’d prefer the honourable option of building a mass movement to overcome the Tories’ mass money.
Corbyn played by the rules and won fair and square last year, but the Blairite bad losers have never accepted the result.
This is the right’s last chance to topple Corbyn before attempting an unprecedented parliamentary takeover, while top centrists are still “seduced by sinister forces,” in the words of Unite leader Len McCluskey.
When Smith said Labour should be “deeply ashamed” for “having a debate on national television about anti-semitism and misogyny,” the cheers from his supporters gave the game away.
The big picture, as Postcapitalism author Paul Mason puts it, is to tarnish the Labour brand beyond recognition to prevent it becoming a mass movement.
The people pulling Smith’s strings would rather destroy the party than leave it in the hands of the left — and it’s tragic how many members have willingly facilitated this vandalism, either through fear or misguided loyalty.
It doesn’t matter how many successful campaigns Corbyn leads against the government, Labour’s soft centre simply isn’t strong enough to stand up to this “bitterite” blackmail.Ballot papers start dropping from today — and almost as important as winning is for Jez to win big.
In an epic 5,000-word blog earlier this month, Mason suggested the next shadow cabinet should be balanced between allies of Corbyn and Smith in proportion to their vote share.
And the more massive the mandate, the longer it will take the right-wing wreckers to lick their wounds and come back for another attack.
If Labour is to be fighting fit for the next election, it needs to start working together as a team, which means the whole party — the leadership, MPs, members and the machine — taking the fight to the Tories, not turning on each other again.
But first of all, rebel MPs must win back their members’ trust or face being booted out at the earliest opportunity.
There’s always room in Labour’s big tent for a repentant sinner, as shadow chancellor John McDonnell is fond of saying, but there can’t be room for any more sabotage.
If MPs won’t work hard for a Labour victory under their democratically elected leader, then they can’t stay in the party — it’s as simple as that.
And no more insults and smears. If this is how you talk to your own members, what kind of contempt must you have for the wider public?
Paranoid party bigwigs have treated new members especially badly.
Take the recent welcome from deputy leader Tom Watson, who claimed that “Trotsky entryists” were “twisting young arms” into supporting Corbyn.
His only evidence was “a document that I am reliably informed is being shared between Momentum members with links to far-left parties,” but the text in question had been copy-pasted from a webpage of Labour-right faction Progress summarising Militant Tendency’s techniques from the 1980s.
No matter, the message was clear — you’ve been brainwashed by Trots into supporting Jez, so no vote for you!
Millionaire donor Michael Foster, who failed in his High Court bid to have Corbyn thrown off the ballot, went even further by describing Corbynistas as “nazi stormtroopers” in last week’s Mail on Sunday.
Yet we are the ones who are called abusive.
For all members, the first step to building a better world must be building a better Labour Party.
Just as people everywhere feel marginalised and powerless, the Labour rank and file doesn’t think its opinions count or its voices are being heard.
Corbyn is a symbol of this discontent, but he isn’t the cause.
Tony Blair and his Pfizer-funded Progress allies ruthlessly suppressed the left after he became leader, deselecting vulnerable socialists and parachuting right-wing loyalists into Labour heartlands.
This lack of respect for local democracy — the exact opposite of Corbyn’s approach — was partly responsible for the rise of Ukip in Labour’s back yard, a tragedy Smith wants to compound by playing best out of three.
To be clear, it might make sense for a Labour MP with an overwhelmingly pro-EU constituency to call for a rematch, but any potential leader must seek to unite the whole country, not pander to small sections of it.
And just to clear something else up, Corbyn was actually complaining that “Article 50 has to be invoked now” when he was asked what happens next at half-past seven on the morning of the result — it wasn’t a call to quit, as Smith is spinning it.
Any true socialist should celebrate the fact that left-wing ideas are being debated by the mainstream in a way we haven’t seen for decades, if ever before.
That’s what scares the Establishment most of all — the masses pulling the wool from their eyes and getting organised.
With a fresh perspective, even the most jaded cynic can see the only way is Jez.
Chat to Charley on Twitter: @charleyallan.