I get some amusing musical questions as I charge round the country with my early-music-meets-punk-band Barnstormer 1649 large collection of obsolete instruments in tow.  

The most common one is: “What’s that buzzy thing that looks like a walking stick?”

Well, it’s a crumhorn and it went out of fashion towards the end of the 17th century, replaced by the oboe, which sound a bit less like a demented bee on steroids.  

Being proudly, indeed militantly, unfashionable myself, I am on a one-man mission to rehabilitate it and it is always lovely to go to places where there are kindred crumhorn spirits. Yes, they do exist!

One such place is the lovely Folk East Festival in Suffolk, where we played yesterday evening supporting the legendary Oysterband, and where they actually have stalls selling early music instruments.

Not originals of course — they’re all in museums — but expertly crafted modern facsimiles. They also have Morris dancers, just as historically valid and even less fashionable. All power to their uncoordinated and often positively dangerous elbows, but don’t ask me to take part. I’d rather eat a pubic hair pizza.

Very busy at the moment. Tomorrow, after Brighton’s home game against Man U, my wife and I are driving up to Edinburgh, where I have five shows next week as part of the truly inclusive and thoroughly recommended PBH Free Fringe.

I’m playing at the legendary Bannerman’s Bar in the Old Town at 4.15 from this coming Monday to Friday, admission is free and you pay what you want at the end. The show is called Ancient & Modern and in between the poems and songs there will, indeed be an occasional snippet of crumhorn.

Hundreds of performers from all areas of the arts world are part of the PBH presence at the Fringe and, in these days of ridiculously inflated ticket prices, it is an absolutely brilliant idea that deserves maximum support.

All the shows are listed in the Wee Blue Book, available free, of course, all over the place up there, so, if you’re heading to Edinburgh, grab a copy and support a movement which represents  the true original essence of the Fringe.

But we have an even more important reason to be in Edinburgh, which is to welcome newest grandson Lennon into the world and congratulate proud parents Pat and Kim.

Great name, Lennon, prone to slight mispronunciation occasionally, especially after a few beers. I am sure Star readers get my drift!

And next Saturday I am in Ireland as guest of honour at the very first Limerick Limerick Festival. Since I am 100 per cent certain that virtually no-one there has heard of Attila the Stockbroker, I shall introduce myself appropriately. “I am a punk poet from Brighton / I aim to inspire and enlighten / I’m crossing the border / Ere Brexit disorder / Us all with its bollocks does frighten.”

Then, on September 8, Barnstormer 1649 launch our new album Restoration Tragedy at the most appropriate event possible, given the subject matter of our material — the Wigan Diggers’ Festival.  

The Blockheads are headlining, but I shall be rooting for Wigan’s own Merry Hell, who have been writing stirring and inspirational anthems for years and whose new album Bloodlines is absolutely wonderful.

They have written our new National Anthem. It’s called Come On England and it is the absolute, definitive song for our divided and divisive times. It’s up on YouTube and please give yourselves a treat and check it out.

And if you’re in the vicinity, join us in Wigan on the day to celebrate the great vision of socialist pioneer Gerrard Winstanley.

See you in Edinburgh, folks. But first, here’s hoping the Seagulls can kick-start our season tomorrow against Man U. Our opening display against Watford was truly awful.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SDJawQiyMc
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Twitter: @atilatstokbroka