WELL that’s the first week of the election over and what a week it’s been. The election started well for Labour with soon-to-be-impeached President Donald Trump attacking Jeremy Corbyn whilst giving his support to Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson — what a stroke of genius, Labour couldn’t buy such positive PR.

Trump’s “searing” denunciation of Corbyn was Shakespearean in its eloquence — judge the quality for yourself: “Corbyn would be so bad for your country. He’d be so bad, he’d take you in such a bad way. He’d take you into such bad places,” Trump said. Now as political rhetoric goes it’s not quite up there with Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech but it was still one of Trump’s more coherent ones.

We then had Jacob Rees “Mogadon” telling the world that the victims of the Grenfell disaster should have “ignored fire service advice” and used “common sense” to get out the blazing inferno that took so many lives. In effect saying people died because they were too stupid to save themselves.

Just in case that wasn’t bad enough, he enlisted one of his chums from the ERG to ram home this ignorant bilge: up stepped Andrew Bridgen to exceed Mogg’s stupid, crass, insensitive comments of the previous day by telling Radio 4: “But we want very clever people running the country, don’t we? … That’s a by-product of what Jacob is, that’s why he is in a position of authority.”

Stormzy summed up how most people felt about these comments when he said, “72 people died in a tragedy that you are to blame for … This ain’t about politics, it’s about the people who govern us lacking the most basic humanity or empathy.” Spot on Stormzy mate I’d say.

Just as the Tories’ first day of campaigning saw them drowning in a cesspit of their own making, up popped the Welsh Secretary Alun Cairns to throw Tory campaign chiefs a concrete life jacket when he was forced to resign over his knowledge of an aide attempting to sabotage a rape trial — what a caring, compassionate bunch these Tories are.

Over at Sky TV the Tory Party chairman was despatched to shore up this disastrous start to the campaign only to be found whimpering behind a couch off set, refusing to go on live for an interview with Kay Burley. It has since emerged that Sky tried to replicate the Have I Got News For You tactic by replacing him with a tub of lard but the tub of lard refused to be humiliated by being called in as a replacement for not-so Cleverly, so they empty-chaired him.

Meanwhile over at the Liberal Democrat HQ Jo Swinson appeared to have been swigging the cooking sherry and like a pub bore was found shouting to any passing stranger that she was “going to be the next Prime Minister.” It’s amazing the level of delusion you can suffer after kicking about with Danny Alexander and Nick Clegg for so long.

Swinson categorically ruled out using Lib Dem votes in Parliament to put Corbyn into Downing Street and expressed her outrage at his refusal to press the nuclear button — then in almost the same breath claimed the Liberals were the only party who could save the planet. Hmmm — I for one would actually feel quite reassured to have a Prime Minister who doesn’t want to eviscerate the human race and bring about nuclear Armageddon. Not dropping an atom bomb could be good for the future of the planet too — what do you reckon Jo?

Over at the Labour Party Tom Watson announced he was standing down from Parliament to become a fitness coach and Ian Austin advised he was standing down to shout very loudly and for the millionth time about how much he hates Jeremy Corbyn. Whatever floats your boat “comrades.”

At the weekend we had the annual Remembrance Sunday event at the Cenotaph — in recent years the Daily Mail and others have lambasted Jeremy Corbyn’s appearance at this event claiming he didn’t bow deeply enough, he hadn’t worn the correct type of coat, and he had taken coffee instead of tea afterwards at the reception.

Can you imagine the outcry there would have been from the tabloids if someone standing for election as Prime Minister of the country dared to turn up with his coat flapping about like Batman’s cape or who laid their wreath upside down — or God forbid someone who walked towards the memorial at the wrong time? It would have dominated the headlines and airways for days.

Johnson was guilty of all of these faux pas but he had no need to worry, over at the Beeb they had a simple way of sorting out all of this unseemly behaviour: they just ran the footage of the bold Boris using coverage from three years ago, passing it all of as Sunday’s service in the hope that no-one would notice. Yes, indeedy, they made it look as though Johnson’s Sunday appearance was a shining example of decorum and finesse. Which led people to ask just when did Comical Ali start working at Broadcasting house?

Finally, the Brexit Party announced it would stand down and not contest Tory seats. Nigel Farage, who has for months claimed Johnson’s Brexit deal is not really Brexit, now thinks it is absolutely spiffing — no-one is very sure what swung it for Nige as nothing in the deal has changed, but some dreadful cynics suggest a peerage is in the post for the private-school educated, former stockbroker MEP — yes a real anti-establishment figure will Lord Farage of Brownose be when he takes up his seat in the House of Lords.

Oh well, only five weeks to go.

Neil Findlay is MSP for Lothian. Follow him at www.facebook.com/NeilFindlayMSP and @NeilFindlay_MSP.